Raphael Bad Mood Rising #1 (Review)

Story: Bill Moulage
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks and Letters: Eric Talbot
Cover: Ross Campbell
Release: July 2007

The first official Raphael solo title since his microseries way back in Volume 1. Will it be as memorable and introduce us to classic characters? Not so much. These new miniseries that Mirage released were for the most part fairly forgettable. The Raphael series and the Michelangelo series didn't really follow up on any interesting stories like the Leonardo and Donatello series did. This story follows up on Tales Vol. 2 #7, and I don't think many people were demanding that story get continued.

The issue opens up in North Hampton where Raph and Shadow are watching The Exorcist. Good flick, but what's really jarring is that a still from the movie is shown in the comic in the middle of Jim Lawson's art. The issue is only on the third page and something weird has already taken me right out of the story.

Raph gets a beer and we continue in read dialogue from The Exorcist. This movie watching goes on for a bit too long, 6 whole pages. When the comic is only 28 pages long, using 6 to take dialogue from a movie is a lot. The doorbell rings and Raph opens the door to find Lulu, the cute-as-a-button little girl who I bet has more to her than meets the eye! (Spoiler: She does!) Lulu asks for help finding her mother, which Raph and Shadow agree to do. Lulu then asks if her dog can come in, but hey, it's a werewolf. Not just any werewolf, but  Sloane, a character from Tales #7.

Raph agrees for the second time that he will help find Lulu's mother, who turns out to be another werewolf. He can't have his brothers help though because that story is "in a tale as-yet untold". I hate it when Mirage did this. Foreshadowing is one thing, but confusing the readers by teasing a story that has not been written yet, but has already happened in the timeline is frigging annoying. Tales biggest flaw was how much the narrative jumped all over the place and how long stories would take to get a conclusion. Crap like this does not help.

We then see Raph get decked out in gear to fight the supernatural. This outfit was first seen in Tales Vol. 2 #3 where Raph is saying "Let me tell you a story". That issue came out three years prior to this miniseries. While I doubt things were planned out that far in advance, it's neat to see it come back around.

Lulu then teleports everyone to a different dimension that exists in the shadows of our world. The rest of the issue consists of everyone riding on giant bats, being chased by demons that eat your soul. I really like the creature designs of the soul-eaters. They're a mix of lizard, dinosaur, and have a giant eyeball for a head. The issue ends with them getting surrounded with no obvious way to escape.

This is not a terrible issue, but it's not very good either. The pacing is poor, the beginning spends too much time watching a movie and the end spends too much time just flying on bats. The middle is really the part that moves the plot forward. I also really miss Casey in this series. It feels like all good Raphael stories have Casey in them, and Shadow is a poor substitute.

2/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #24 Review (IDW)

Story: Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, & Tom Waltz
Script: Tom Waltz
Art: Mateus Santolouco with Mike Henderson
Color: Ronda Pattison
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow

City Fall part 3. While still interesting, this story is starting to feel bloated. And honestly, it might not be the story. I think it has more to do with IDW blowing their load with all their TMNT promotion and pretty much letting us know how this is going to end. While not everything is known, I feel like a lot the overall story has been laid out. Hopefully something will surprise me along the way, but I really don't know.

The issue opens with Karai training. The Shredder essentially tells her to stop whining like a child and come be useful. We then get another family moment with Casey have a dream sequence with his dead mother. If this issue has a theme, it's about broken families. Karai looking for acceptance, Casey needing to get away from his abusive father, and the Leo turning against his family. For as potentially deep as this subject matter could be, the issue reads flat for whatever reason.

We then see the Turtles following Hob to a warehouse. And it has taken a very long time, but Hob is actually interesting. I was more intrigued with him than anything
else in this issue. He's playing both the Turtles and the Foot, and I'm looking forward to seeing what his ultimate objective is. The highlight of the issue is Mikey trying to make friends with Slash. He gives Slash some candy, being the first kind act done towards Slash. Slash goes from a snarling monster to over-excited child in just a few panels. It's a different take on Slash, but that's a good thing not to just rehash what's already been done. I always like seeing when Michelangelo is portrayed as just generally decent instead of just a "party dude".

The Turtles might be ninjas, but seriously lack common sense. They walk into yet another trap, a reoccurring plot device in City Fall. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that the Shredder is there with "Dark Leo" (a really uninspired name) and he fights his brothers. Leo quickly defeats them all, which is fine by me. Leo has been shown to be a superior fighter and lets assume his brothers aren't trying to kill him. The Shredder has a really cliched moment where he tells Leo not to kill the Turtles, you know, so the comic can continue beyond this issue. But what's really weird is that four panels later, he tells Leo to kill them all. What? This is all on the same page, why tell him to not kill them and then to kill them with literally nothing happening in between those orders.

Dome-atello

Slash then busts in, looking for candy and fucking up a bunch of Foot soldiers in the process. It's another cliche moment, but it works. The Turtles escape with the mandatory "TO BE CONTINUED!" and the issue ends. Typically, I praise Mateus Santolouco's art, but this issue was not his best. He took a different approach to drawing the Turtles and gave them heads that look like domes without a lot of dimension. They look more like parody drawings of the Turtles. Hopefully this is not a trend that will continue.

2/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 2 #2 Review (Mirage)

Story and Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Jason Temujin Minor
Letters: Mary Kelleher
Colors: Eric Vincent
Cover: Peter Laird

For as hard as I was on issue #1 of this series, I really do like Vol 2. and wish Jim Lawson had the chance to flesh out his planned story. You know what? Now that I wrote that sentence, I'm kinda pissed he didn't take that opportunity in Tales of the TMNT Vol. 2. Damnit Lawson, what were you thinking?

Anyways, the issue opens with a nice splash page of where Klunk takes a shit. No really. It's a complete waste of a page, and it's nothing but filler. A page could have been used to explain where the hell Splinter is in all of Vol. 2, but no. Let's take a look at the litter box instead!

I actually really do like this issue as it quickly gets into what do the Turtles do now that their problems with the Foot are behind them. Where do they go from here and what can give them purpose? Donatello has apparently moved out with Splinter to North Hampton. This wasn't abundantly clear in the last issue, but absolutely nothing was clear in that issue. The three remaining Turtles are left talking in boredom with each other. Michelangelo says he plans on starting a journal, and I really like that. For as flat and two-dimensional as he is in every other medium, the Mirage Mikey is my favorite character. Why? Because he has dimension and growth. Mirage, more than other comic companies, like Marvel and DC, had the opportunity to make their characters grow and change over time. Most of them stayed exactly the same once they developed personality other than "I'm a gritty bad-ass that likes to kill Foot soldiers and have dark  inner monologues".  Michelangelo actually changed and grew and I liked his character arc. Sure he became WAY to aware of it by Vol. 4, but that's gripe for another time.

Now that I've had a strayed long enough from the plot of this comic, Raph moves out to find his own place in the world, leaving only Mike and Leo together. The story than cuts to D.A.R.P.A., a branch of the military that is paranoid and like the color green. Some soldiers are killed by a gun hanging from the ceiling, and let's face it, if you hang a loaded gun by the ceiling, you're just asking to get killed off. The gun is being controlled by the mysterious figure who happens to be African-American. Who could it be? Let's run down the long list of black TMNT characters: 1. Baxter Stockman 2. April in that one issue she was colorized. OK, fine, it's Stockman. Actually kind of surprising since he hasn't been seen since issue #2 of Vol. 1. Unless you count the Fred Wolf series, and I doubt the Mirage team was taking influence from that show.

The story then goes to North Hampton where we find Donatello hiding from Evangelists. Don't know why they're there, don't know if this story was going anywhere. It's random and has no purpose, but look! Donaltello! He's one of the Turtles too, so fuck it, add some filler pages in with him.

We cut back to New York to find Leo. Leo stabs the car of a probable criminal (cause that'll stop it) and they get in an accident, probably killing the criminal. One of the things I like about the Mirage comics is that the Turtles never viewed themselves as heroes. Despite what other incarnations did, the Turtles didn't go from rooftop to rooftop doing rounds looking for villains. Except that's what Leo's doing here and I love how out of character it is. Leo is looking for honor and purpose, but all he has is rage. He's not a leader anymore, and I wish this story could have been fleshed out further, because it had a lot of potential.

The issue ends with what is not surprising reveal of Baxter Stockman. He no longer has the uncomfortable plot of destroying the World Trade Center and  has some kind of plan involving his brain and robots. Overall, I like this issue. But it's disappointing in a way to. It's like looking at the potential that Vol. 2 had that readers never got to really see pan out.

3/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 2 #1 Review (Mirage)

Story and Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Jason Temujin Minor
Letters: Mary Kelleher
Colors: Mary Woodring
Cover: A.C. Farley

Oh man, Volume 2. The unceremoniously cancelled series that really went nowhere. And it's too bad, Jim Lawson clearly had some long term plans on this book, but they would never come to fruition. And get used to it, this is the beginning of a lot of unresolved TMNT stories that would plague Mirage for the remainder of time they published Turtles comics.

The issue opens with a letter from Peter Laird talking about how the Turtles are going "back to basics". What a joke. Back to basics would last a whopping three issues. Laird also discusses the change from black and white, giving the explanation of "why the heck not?". Personally, I have no strong feelings on the Turtles being black and white or not. Overall, I associate the Turtles with being black and white more than I do color, but I overall don't care. It's not like color is going to make or break if a story is good or not. It's also kind of funny reading this letter now where Laird says "Welcome to the Future" when I'm reading it 20 years later.

The first page is shocking. It's a splash page of Splinter dead, beaten to death by an unknown Turtle. Oh my God! Where could this shocking foreshadowing be going? Fucking nowhere. We've seen Splinter die, and it was by a heart attack. But he's alive in the Battle Nexus, or a ghost or something, so maybe Leo beats him in the Battle Nexus later on, a concept that wouldn't be conceived until the 2003 animated show. Maybe Laird and Co. had that much foresight. Actually, forget it. It's just a disappointment.

This is followed by Donatello meditating about burying Splinter in the future. We've since seen Splinter's funeral, which was in Central Park and not Japan so again, something that went nowhere. Seven pages in, and already two unless plot threads.

The issue then cuts to the dreams of April and Casey. Casey's dream involves Dark Casey, and do I really need to say it? It goes nowhere! Here's a huge shocker, April's dream sequence does go somewhere! It takes over a decade for it to be resolved, but it gets there. Crazy.

The story goes over to, you guessed it, another dream sequence. This time it's Raph and he's dreaming about killing a helpless rat. Except then the rat gets friggin' huge and attacks Raph. This possibly could be related to Splinter's dream, and maybe the unknown Turtle is Raph, and maybe Splinter isn't really dead, but there is no way to know. Again, just another story being set up that goes nowhere.

Leo (or possibly Raph) then dream about Raph and Leo being experimented on. This dream also goes somewhere and is resolved by the end of Volume 2, but not exactly as it's shown in the dream. I like that the dream is distorted and not a direct translation of events to come, because that's just how dreams are.

The last two pages show Michelangelo as a TV or movie producer. No real indication is given here if this is the future, or just another dream sequence. Way back in #17 of Volume 1, it was shown that Mikey liked to write and makeup stories, and as much as I hate to sound like a broken record, this plot thread goes nowhere.

When this issue came out, people were confused. It didn't make any sense and readers didn't know what to make of it. It's funny reading letters pages now. The Mirage crew is so proud of themselves for confusing readers, promising that everything will make sense in the future and that you confused intentionally. Well it's been 20 years, and I still don't get it. Aside from Volume 4 never being completed, Volume 2 being cancelled was the worst thing that ever happened to TMNT comics from Mirage. The series really did have potential, but it was never fleshed out enough to really have anything become of it.

1/5

Turtles Forever Review

Directors: Roy Burdine and Lloyd Goldfine
Writers: Rob David, Matthew Drdek, and Lloyd Goldfine
Released: November 21, 2009

Turtles Forever. Admit it, this was the ultimate Turtles dream come true. Combining the two successful TV Turtles (and thankfully ignoring that other one) and putting them into one TV movie. It friggin' blew my mind. When this was released, I admittedly had not been not been a fan of the 4Kids show, I ended up watching it later on. Even though I was reading the Turtles comics at the time, the idea of a cartoon was just not appealing to me. But it didn't matter, because Turtles Forever is just that good. I couldn't believe it the morning it aired, it could not feel more nostalgic. I made damn sure I was awake on time in order to watch the Turtles I grew up with on TV on a Saturday morning. All that was missing was waking up in my Ninja Turtles Sheets, with my Ninja Turtles pajamas, and getting a big bowl of Ninja Turtles cereal. Actually, I'm fine with those details not being there.

The story gets going immediately. A big praise that can be said for this movie is that it does not waste any screen time, the pacing is great and if anything, I wish it was longer. I love that the '87 Turtles are not supporting characters or just have some small cameo. They're right there through the whole thing, just being ridiculous and awesome. A big complaint that a lot of people have is that they were too silly. These weren't really the cartoon Turtles, just a mockery of what the Fred Wolf show had been. My question is this: what the fuck are you talking about? What show were you watching as a kid? Because the one I watched had silly characters in over the top, kid friendly situations. The contrast between the Fred Wold and the 4Kids Turtles is what makes this movie work. It's awesome, stop nitpicking every detail and enjoy it for what it is.

Now for the nitpicking! Not really nitpicking, but a what I dislike about the movie. Animation? Phenomenal. Story? Amazing. Perfect Finale? Damn right. Voice Acting? Shit. Anyone who watches this for five minutes can tell that the original voice actors for the '87 Turtles are not used. Why is this? Cheapness, and no real other reason. The short answer is there are a few different voice acting unions, and the one 4Kids uses is not the same one Fred Wolf used. So instead of spending a little more money, 4Kids opted to have sub par actors and cheap imitations of the old music. It's the only thing that pulls me out of this movie, and it's unfortunately consistent. The actors that were hired will get about one out of every four lines to sound like the original actors and it comes across sounding really forced.

The humor in this is one of the best parts. Both shows had their shares of jokes, but I wouldn't call any of them laugh out loud funny. This movie on the other hand, I find hysterical. The 2003 Michelangelo screaming in terror on the glider after it detaches from the blimp is probably my favorite. I also like the constant joking about how the old show was so ridiculous. The Turtles know that before the stop the Technodrome, they have to save April. How do they know? Because they do that at least once a day. And I really like the 2003 Donatello thinking April worked at a car wash because of her yellow jumpsuit. The only part of the humor that I think could have been cut back on was the '87 Turtles laughing so much. Yes, they used to laugh at their jokes, but not every single one of them! The laughing itself probably takes up five minutes of the movie and gets really old.

Going into this, I had no idea how many different versions of the Turtles were going to be referenced. When the Swedish sounding Utrom Shredder shows the Turtles all the different incarnations, it's quite a visual. I couldn't believe how many obscure references were pulled up. The anime Turtles? How many people actually know what that is? I didn't notice the Turtles from their Christmas movie in there though, real shame.

The best part is the end. Holy shit, the Mirage Turtles are in this movie. This will probably be the closest adaptation of them that we will ever see. The animation matched up so well. I don't recall there always being lighting in the sky, but oh well. The only thing missing in this was some sign that said "Chet" on it. A lot of the dialogue is pulled straight from the first issue of Ninja Turtles, and it's a huge treat. I love the appearance of the original Shredder. Does he get taken out from impaling this time? Nope. Trashcans do him in, all in classic cartoon style.

Turtles Forever is next to perfect as far as anything involving Turtles animation. All we need now is a full cut of it released on DVD so I can stop watching it on YouTube. If The Next Mutation can get a real DVD releaseTurtles Forever should be able to. Seriously, if Coming Out of Their Shells gets one first, I'm going to be pissed.

5/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles New Animated Adventures #1 Review (IDW)

Story: Kenny Byerly
Art: Dario Brizuela
Colors: Heather Breckel
Letters: Shawn Lee
Edits: Bobby Curnow
Released: July 2013

Wow. That is a really LONG title for a comic. It's clearly a reference to the old TMNT Adventures comic. It's also doing the exact same thing as the old Adventures comic and translating the TV show into a more kid friendly comic than what currently exists. The difference between this first issue and the other TMNT Adventures first issue is this one doesn't suck.

The comic opens on April working on her stealth and attempting to sneak past the Turtles. She's caught on the first page and I really like that. So many incarnations of April have had her turn into a ninja essentially overnight, and I like that the show and clearly the comic are taking a nice slow transition into it. By the second page, you know this comic has something going for it. The character voices are in tune with their TV counterparts. The art also translates better than I thought it would. I was unsure if going from CGI to a comic format would work, but the characters still maintain the same look and feel.

Donatello continues to have his crush on April and brings her out to a military junkyard for parts. Leonardo objects to this and their is some good humor that plays out. Of course, they get caught and Donatello has to get help from his brothers to save April. If that's not a classic TMNT setup, I don't know what is.

The big difference with this April, compared to some other versions, is that she is not completely useless. Fred Wolf and Archie version? Useless. Mirage version? Useless. 4Kids? Less useless, but holds down a job with a strange dress code. Using Splinter's training, she is able to use her brain to help the Turtles escape and gets Donatello the part he came to the junkyard for in the first place. It's a nice twist for her to be the hero of the story instead of the Turtles.

One things I'm questioning with the comic is the narrative. It's going alongside the story of the first season right now. So where exactly does it fall? No idea, but it mentions Kirby O'Neil missing so it's pulling some influence from the other timeline. Given that this issue came out with a month to go left in the first season, it seems like a poor story choice to try and go hand and hand with the show. Hopefully this series will take the smartest decision the original Adventures series took and go off on its own direction and make its own story line.

3/5

Operation: Breakout Review (Nickelodeon)

Written by: Jase Ricci
Directed by: Michael Chang
Release Date: July, 27 2013

Spoilers!

This is the penultimate episode before the two-part season finale, and it's a really good . It continues a lot of plot threads and moves the story forward more than most episodes this season. The episode focuses on Donatello sneaking into a Kraang facility to break out Kirby O'Neil in order to impress April. It goes horribly wrong, but hey, it would be a really boring episode if things went smoothly.

A lot of people are really against Donatello having a crush on April. I'm not going to call it a romance, because that's not what it is. A romance would imply that something was being reciprocated, and that's not the case. And let's face it, it's a cartoon show, they're not going to have any kind of relationship where they need to go through the difficulties of her being a human and him being a Turtle and how that would even work. Not gonna happen.

/

"You named something without me?"

I think the crush itself is fine, and it actually gives Donatello something to do. In every incarnation of Donatello outside of the comics,  he does nothing but stay in the background, only coming out to fix some kind of machine. I like having his story a little more in the forefront of the series, it makes everything feel more balanced. Plus, giving Rob Paulsen more dialogue is always a good thing. He's a great voice actor and the nostalgia of having him do another Turtles voice is right up there. I'm also curious to see what this will do for conflict when Casey is introduced next season. Conflict is always a good thing, and this will probably a reoccurring problem.

Once Donatello has broken into the Kraang facility, he releases accidentally other

prisoners aside from Kirby O'Neil. One is a giant neut that Donatello names Neutralizer. Michelangelo's reaction to this is great. Throughout the season he has named all of the villains, and his offended reaction to Donatello is my favorite part of the episode.

There's a strangely violent moment in this episode that really stood out to me. The primary target audience for this show is obviously kids, so that leads to a lot of censoring and downplaying violence. Yes, this is an action show, but you're certainly not going to see things like blood. There's a quick shot here where Neutralizer eats one of the Kraang. Just kind of slurps him down. It's not graphic, but it doesn't change the fact that he ate and killed one of the Kranng. I'm surprised they got away with this.

Splinter is teaching April about invisibility

The animation in this episode is great. There's a lot of action going on and it feels smooth and frantic at the same time. The explosions are done really well, and there's a gross bit of animation where Neutralizer licks some glass and the residue saliva is seen. The action is really spectacular considering how many fights are in this episode. There was one pretty big animation flub that happens in the Turtles lair. Splinter is walking around April, and you can see right through him. It looks like the ghost of Splinter and it's very strange. Hard to believe nobody caught that before the episode aired.

Things end with the Kraang and Shredder discussing how they're plan is coming together. They wanted the Turtles to rescue Kirby O'Neil and bring him back to the Turtles lair. Is he a Kraang, some other kind of alien, does he have a magical crystal on his pencil, or is he just working for them? Don't know, but we'll find out in next weeks two-part finale.

3/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Micro-Series Villains: Alopex (IDW)

Writter: Brian Lynch

Art: Ross Campbell

Letters: Chris Mowry

Editor: Bobby Curnow

Colors: Ross Campbell and Heather Nunnelly

Dedicated in Memor of Franco Urru

Released: July 2013

This issue was dedicated to Franco Urru, who was originally going to do the art for this issue. Urru did the art for the Raphael Micro-Series and it saddens me that he did not get to do this issue with Bryan Lynch. Lynch and Urru had previously worked on IDW's Angel: After the Fall and Spike series. It's a collaboration that will be sorely missed. I met Urru briefly in 2009 at New York Comic Con, and he seemed very shy, respectful, and genuinely nice. I was unaware he was at the same panel I was at, let alone sitting directly in front of me until Lynch drew attention to him and asked Urru to stand up for applause.

Urru's character sketch for Raphael Micro-Series

Better get to the issue. So far, Alopex has been the weakest reoccurring character in the Turtles story. She's just been a generic henchwoman, and not a very effective one at that. This issue attempts to give the character more depth and a back story, but some work still needs to be done to make her more engaging.

I've read the majority of what Lynch has written and this issue is a huge departure for him. I really enjoy his writing and I love seeing him involved with the Turtles books. Even when Lynch is writing dark stories, he his has an amount of levity in what he does. He has a very specific tone and it's usually clear when he writes any comic. This is probably the darkest thing Lynch has written and the writing does not have his familiar style. As much as the beats he hits are usually something I enjoy, it's nice to see some range in his style and I hope to continue reading his work over the years.

The issue opens with Alopex going to assassinate members of the Foot clan who are getting cold feet and trying to get out before the street war begins. Alopex gives

 them the same weapons as the Turtles and tells them that she will blindfold herself if they will fight with these weapons. As she kills them, she fantasizes they are the Turtles. I know she's fought them and lost, but I don't really get why she hates them. "Just 'cause" seems to be as much as she needs for motivation. And I get that she will fight them to be loyal to Shredder, but that's not enough to explain her own hatred.

As it's known at this point, Bebop and Rocksteady are coming back into Turtles canon. They have not appeared since Alopex's first issue and make a brief cameo in one panel. I'm really excited to see what a more serious take on these characters will be.

The Shredder brings Alopex to where she was originally from for a secret mission. Turns out that mission is burn down the forest as Alopex's promotion party. Hate to see what that guy does for birthday parties around the office. Alopex is understandably pissed and attacks the Shredder. He defeats her and she decides to come back to the Foot and accept her promotion. However, she has a secret agenda and plans for kill the Shredder. Not the most original twist, but at least she has something to do other than screw up missions now.

This is the best issue about Alopex since her first appearance and it would be nice to have more issues like this. The character really has been overshadowed by more interesting heroes and villains so far. There's also a really big uphill battle for this character since she's never been seen before the IDW incarnation. Keeping that in mind, I think the character still has the potential to become a classic Turtles character.

3/5 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures #1 Review (Archie)

Adaptation, Art, and Letters: David Garcia
Colors: Barry Grossman
Editor: Victor Gorelick
Release Date: March, 1989

Oh man. We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. This is as useless as Turtles stories get. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures started out as the 1989 cartoons socially challenged third cousin. These early issues were dull adaptations of the cartoon series. It's astounding how these first few comics are even more lifeless than the show.

The issue opens with Leonardo and Michelangelo shopping for pizza topping ingredients. Don't know how the Turtles get money for things like grocery shopping, maybe they steal it? Who knows. Suddenly two 80's punks rob the store! But they're stopped by the threatening sounds of the fight. "CLONG! CLICK! THUNK! KERASH!" It's so bad.

The story goes back to the sewers where we see Splinter, and he couldn't possibly look worse. It's not the art, even though the art is awful, everything looks so flat and lacks any depth or dimension. The problem is the colors. Barry Grossman must have only watched a few Turtles toy commercials, because everything is so wrong. Splinter looks like your typical Wal-Mart shopper on any given Tuesday; strolling along with a mean hang-over in his bathrobe and not having shaved in two weeks. The colors are honestly some of the worst I've seen in any comic. Everything is lazily applied, no care has been taken to stay inside the lines of the art. It's sloppy and breaks rules preschoolers are taught not to do. This are gets a "F" for lack of effort. And for possibly being drunk while completing them.

We then follow Shredder back to Earth where he takes over a ninja dojo for douche bags. It's such a wonderful 80's story, the dojo that only consists of ass holes who only want to hurt other people. They become the Crooked Ninja Turtle gang after about thirty minutes of training from Shredder, where he honed their skills.

Chanel 6 is on the job to follow the Crooked Ninja Turtle gang! Thank god they use the characters names, because I'd have no idea who was who otherwise. I already said the art was pretty bad, but it's at least recognizable to the art style of the show. But the Chanel 6 characters don't even resemble their cartoon counterparts. Vernon and Irma look nothing like the show, and it doesn't help that the colors don't match up with how they look either. But hey, April was black once, so I guess weirder things have happened in the color department of Turtles before.

I can praise the writing of the issue for the most part. Not because it's engaging (it's not), but because it comes off sounding like the show, which is what they were going for in the early issues of TMNT Adventures. Some of it is strange, like all four Turtles saying one word of a sentence. "Master" "Splinter" "Needs" "Us". Just does not flow well and would sound weird coming out of the characters mouths.

The issue ends at the halfway point of the show. That's right, this is a two-parter. What an abomination. Thankfully, the series would break off into it's own original stories after only a few issues, but that point doesn't come soon enough.

1/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 4 #31 Review (Mirage)

Written by: Peter Laid
Layouts and Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inking: Eric Talbot
Lettering and Tones: Peter Laird
Release Date: October, 2010

Last time I looked at the first issue of Ninja Turtles. Now let's take a look at the last, and man, is it disappointing. It's not so much the issue, it's just that it's not right to be the final issue of the Turtles. This was a story that had been going on for 25 years, and it just ends on such a flat unresolved note.

By the end, Volume 4 comics were barley being released. Good things Tales of the TMNT was happening, or there would have been practically no new Turtles books. Released started getting spread far apart in 2005. 2006 is when things took a serious turn for the worst. There was a 22 month gap in between issues #28 and #29. If that wasn't bad enough, issue #29 could only be ordered online and cost $10. Issue #30 was released 13 months later, again only online and for $10. After that, the Viacom sale was made, and Ninja Turtles was no more. But Laird still had one issue that was 98% done, so he released it on his blog for free. Laird claims that he could wrap up the Turtles story with five more issues, but who knows if that will ever happen. Hopefully it will. I'd really like to see a proper ending to this long running story.

The issue starts with Laird laying the groundwork for future issues by having the Triceratons try out a new weapon that they will be bringing to war. Not a lot to say here, since I have no frigging idea where this was going. That's the first 11 pages, and I summed it up in one sentence. Not very impressive.

We then see Donatello asleep on the couch having a strange dream about fighting the Shredder. The dream is similar to Don's encounter on the log with Casey in Shades of Grey, except here it's the Shredder, and they're dressed and speak like characters from Robin Hood. The Shredder's dialogue is just not as threatening as in past versions. "Marry, thou are an agile fellow" just doesn't carry the same weight as some of the other Shredder lines. Don knocks him off the log, and Shredder transforms into Casey and says "To be or not to be. That is April's question!" It's lame. The inking during the dream sequence is very good and adds a lot of depth to the art. But it can't save the dialogue.

On cue, April calls Don to check in. After their conversation, April has a boring and random fight with some bikers outside of a bar. This fight, for some reason, inspires her to go back to North Hampton. Again, this was a good number of pages, and there's just not a lot to say about it.

The end of the issue is the best part, and also the most frustrating. Really, this whole issue is frustrating because it's nothing but exposition. The story moves to the Battle Nexus to reveal that Splinter is still alive. It's nice to end the series knowing that Splinter survives, but brings up a lot of questions. And as an unintentional middle finger to fans, the last words written in Ninja Turtles are "To be continued!!!". With three exclamation marks. Again, I hope it will be continued, but it just seems so unlikely. Please Peter Laird, finish the story that began in 1984. You're so close to the end.

2/5 (For setting up plots that have never been resolved)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 1 #1 Review (Mirage)

First Printing: May 1984
By Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird

What is there that can be said about the first issue of Ninja Turtles that hasn't already been said? Probably nothing, but I want to put my own spin on it since it's such a huge part of pop culture and Turtles history. For those who don't know, there are only 3,275 issues of this comic ever printed. Thanks to reprints and collections, the rest of us get to enjoy it. Coincidentally, if you want to get your hands on one of these comics, it's going to cost you about $3,275.

The issue opens with the Turtles cornered in a dark alley surrounded by the Purple Dragons. The dialogue is uncanny in how similar it sounds to Frank Miller's Batman or Daredevil. Leonardo gives a very dramatic inner monologue before the Turtles jump into action on a splash page. This is the most iconic image in Turtles history. Countless more images of the four Turtles drawn in action poses would be done over the years, but nothing comes close to this.

Original drawing of the Turtles

There is a quick, but brutal fight that follows the scene. The Turtles waste no time happily killing as many Purple Dragons as they can before the police show up. Happy probably isn't the word I should use, as this is not a light story. Everything is dark, gritty, and covered by shadow. Eastman and Laird's duo-shading art is the prefect style for this kind of comic.

The Turtles return home to find Splinter, who is hopeful the Turtles got into a random fight. This is the first time one of the Turtles actually says something. It takes ten pages to get something other than a hammy monologue. Splinter then explains the origins of the Turtles. Originally, Splinter was a rat located in Japan in the 60's. He knew kung-fu. This is the weirdest part of the issue for me. I'll buy that a ninja owned a rat, but that rat mimicking those movements is a little silly and breaks away from the serious tone of the issue.

Since I'm sure everyone knows the origin story, I won't go into details. It's more interesting to play "Frank Miller Connections". This is a game where you try and point out everything that was inspired/ripped off/blatantly identical to Frank Miller. The Turtles

mentor is Splinter, instead of Daredevil's being Stick. There's one. Instead of The Hand, the Turtles have The Foot. That's two. And they Turtles are apparently mutated by the same chemical that blinded Daredevil. Like the exact same canister. Yes, these things are mostly from the origin of Daredevil, but Miller's retelling at the time was huge and the influence isn't hidden, it's more celebrated.

Splinter is the most interesting character in this issue. Mostly because he's so different from later versions. Here, he's brood thirsty and pissed off. He encourages the Turtles to get into a fight so they can perfect their skills before they assassinate the Shredder. He is not the caring father figure here trying to teach the Turtles about honor and respect. Here, he's been training them for fifteen years in order to kill one guy. Splinter is very single minded.

The issue continues with more inner monologue, this time from Raphael. Not that you can really tell, since it sounds identical to Leonardo's in tone. Since this comic was only planned as one issue and done, Eastman and Laird didn't waste time with pesky things like personalities. Raphael delivers a message to the Shredder that essentially says "Meet by the flagpole at 3:00 so we can kick your ass".

The Shredder decides to show up to the Turtles school yard brawl where the Turtles finally speak again. Seriously, it's been 18 pages since Michelangelo had one line. Again, personalities took a back seat to atmosphere and exposition. The Shredder, being generally
evil, brings the Foot clan along to wear the Turtles down. After the Turtles kill everyone of the roof, they turn their attention to Shredder.

The fight on the roof is great. Action packed with a bunch of over the top lines from the Turtles and Shredder. The fight seems to end when Leonardo impaled Shredder with his sword. Hard to come back from impaling. Unless you have a thermite grenade (very ninja like). Before the Turtles can be blown up, Donatello knocks Shredder off the roof, where he explodes in the alley below. And just for good measure, in case we didn't know he was dead, Leonardo tells his brothers "It seems that the Shredder...has been Shredded!". It's ridiculous, but I love this stuff.

After striking hard, the Turtles fade away into the night. End of story. Forever. Except for a few more decades of Turtles stories in all possible mediums. Turns out musical and anime where two mediums that probably should have been avoided, but it's mostly good stuff.

5/5

Tales of the TMNT Vol. 2 #3 Review (Mirage)

The Worms of Madness Part One
First Printing: May, 2004

Script:Steve Murphy
Plot: Steve Murphy and Rick Remender
Pencils: Rick Remender
Inks: John Beatty
Tones: Scott Cohn
Letters/Frontispiece: Eric Talbot

Tales of the TMNT came back, and man, it was exciting. The first volume was cancelled after only seven issues, most of which are a lot of fun to read, for the sake of having everyone focus on getting Vol. 1 out at a quicker pace. I find it amusing that Vol. 2 of Tales became the series that came out on a monthly basis while Vol. 4 of the main series was being released sporadically at best. The downside of Tales Vol 2., is that it was all over the place story wise. This arc start in issue #3 and was followed up in issue #4, but not concluded until issue #33. And issue #4 set the stage of a story told in issues #13 and #14. Got all that? The Tales stories are a chronological mess and flow a lot better when just single issue stories were being told. Mirage tried to rectify this in their trade paperback of Tales Vol. 2, giving a more coherent flow to the series, but good luck finding those now for a reasonable amount of money. However, this arc is a lot of fun and well worth the read.

The issue starts off with a really strange image of Raphael. He's wearing a shoulder strap that has a hand grenade with a cross on it, a throwing knife with a cross on it, holy water, and a rosary. What? What is he supposed to be doing? I know I should be more interested in the story that about to follow, but I want to know what Raph is up to!

The story Raph is telling begins with the decapitation of the Shredder at the end of Return to New York. The dialogue is the same, right down to the Turtles over the top lines about destiny and honor. Only this time we get to see what happened after they burned the Shredder's body. My only real complaint here is the art. It's not that it's bad,it's quite good actually, but it doesn't have the same look and feel as what Jim Lawson and Kevin Eastman did. I would have really preferred if Jim Lawson had been the one to draw this arc. On the other hand, his art style had changed so drastically since Return to New York, maybe it's for the best Rick Remender did it instead.

A foot mystic comes out of the bushes. Because he was apparently there the whole time and begins to cast a spell that will make a seagull poke the Shredders head into the ocean, where it will be eaten by a shark, who will be infected by the worms that were in the Shredder's head in order to mutate into a Shark Shredder. That makes it sound kind of ridiculous doesn't it? Well, it is ridiculous and a weird set up, but the story still works.

We then cut to the Turtles lair where Leo is having a difficult time coping with the Shredder's death. He didn't give a shit the first time the Turtles killed him, so I don't know why he's so pissy this time around. Michelangelo essentially tells him to get over himself and calm the fuck down for five minutes. Leo responds by aggressively flicking Michelangelo in-between the eyes. Before a fight can start, Splinter jumps in and puts Leo on his ass. As Splinter is about to impart an important lesson about flicking, Shark Shredder emerges from the water. This design is so awesome and over the top at the same time. It really does look menacing, and for as impractical as it is (not that I'm looking for scientific logic from this story) I like how the shark has a mutated Shredder helmet.

There's a short fight that takes place. The Shredder defeats all of the Turtles with ease. It's interesting thinking about his only three fights of the main series. Two of them he lost, getting killed both times. He only won one fight and that was with the help of Foot soldiers and the Foot Elite. Apparently Shark Shredder is a big improvement over the original. Then, using his worms Shredder grabs Splinter and says that he will "Bring you inside of me. Make you a part of me". First, gross. Second, making Splinter a part of him doesn't really come up in the two issue that follow this up so I don't really get it.

I know I'm being a little hard on this issue, but it really is worth reading. It's nice seeing the Shredder back, and it's a fun twist that he's been brought back different.

3/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #23 Review (IDW)

Story: Kevin Eastman, Bobby, Curnow, & Tom Waltz
Script: Tom Waltz
Art: Mateus Santolouco with Dan Duncan, Ross Campbell, Andy Kuhn, Ben Bates, & Kevin Eastman
Colors: Ronda Pattison
Letters: Shawn Lee & Tom B. Long
Editor: Bobby Curnow

Spoiler!

City Fall continues with part two. This is a very different issue from the previous one. While the last issue was fast paced with a lot of action, this issue is more about exposition and set up. Sounds dull on paper, but here's the thing, when done right it can still be exciting.

The issue opens with some well done juxtaposition between Leo and the Foot, and Casey and the Turtles. A lot of times, juxtaposition can feel really cliched and choppy. Too often it's a tool used by poor writers to make it seem like they're most deep and artistic than they really are. But it comes together nicely in this issue. I like the differences in the language and the parallels in the art. Everything feels very intense in both stories.

The story then breaks off into two directions. The Turtles returns to the church to find a message from the grammatically challenged Hob. "EAST RIVER MIDNITE! CAN HELP U! HOB*".Really? He inherently knew English and could speak perfectly as soon as he mutated, but he can't spell "you"? It's a minor gripe, but still stands out as annoying.

The Turtles go and meet Hob who has teamed up with Slash. The more Slash we see the better. He's been used sparingly so far and I'd really like to see a lot more of him in the next few issues. Hob tells the Turtles that there is a street war coming, again reminding me of City at War, and that he wants the Turtles to join him against the humans. He says he will bring them to Leo if they will consider his offer. I'm curious to see where his Darth Vader logic is going, more than likely some kind of set up, but we'll see.

The best part of the issue is Leo getting brainwashed by Kitsune. Without going through it page by page, what happens is major points of Leonardo's life are retold, but in a twisted nightmare way that shows Splinter as cruel and Shredder as Leo's savior. There's also a large emphasis on how Leo needs to kill to protect his clan. All of the scenes that Kitsune shows Leo are drawn by their original artist. Usually when a comic has multiple artist in one issue, I hate it. There's typicaly no point aside from it being billed as an extra special super duper issue, but it's distracting and takes me out of the story. Having the artists come back and draw twisted alternative version
of their original art really works here. Plus I'm a sucker for having Kevin Eastman do any art in this series.

The issue ends with Leo being successfully brainwashed. With all the promotional art that's been released ahead of time, this comes as no surprise. The "TO BE CONTINUED!" at the end of the issue feels silly. Yeah, we know it's to be continued. Hell, we knew it was going to be continued before we read the issue. Again, minor gripes, but it's just unnecessarily silly and gives a Saturday morning cartoon feel to the end of a otherwise solid issue.

4/5